In addition to the most common reasons for marriage failures, such as lack of communication (10 additional and most common reasons can be found here), there are a number of other reasons that contribute to our marriage’s lack of endurance that most people ignore.
For example, lawyer Joseph N. DuCanto mentioned the following points that are often ignored or not attributed to the cause of breakdown in the marriage:
- Life expectancy has increased by about 60%, as such an average life span was 49 years at the turn of the 20th century, whereas today it is 79 years. Accordingly, in the past a marriage could endure 20 to 25 years, and now marriages would need to endure for 50, 60, 0r even 70 years.
- No matter how beautiful the children are, little is said about the disruptive problems children inflict upon the marriage. Preexisting strains in the marriage are only exacerbated by having children.
- Menopause catches husbands off guard and unprepared to deal with new symptoms of mood swings, irritability and loss of libido. No matter how educated we all are on the subject, when it comes to our marriage we are completely unprepared. This coupled with additional and common changes that develop at a later stage in life, such as becoming empty nesters, retirement, unemployment, financial instability, or unavoidable onset of old age all tip the marital scales toward midlife crisis and divorce.
Another point that no one mentions is menopause in males. Men undergo hormonal changes as well but no one talks about it. Unlike in women, menopause in men encompasses a much broader age group. Men themselves often deny and are unaware of why they, too, act irritable. But menopause, whether in males or females, contributes to the break down of the marriage.
Image by Alex Mogilevsky.